This Modern World
The other day, I visited the Retail Tech Innovation Hub.
It’s right next to the Home Depot.
There was an article on display there about how technology has played a role in themed casino games. It was right next to the shelf with the latest in nose-and-ear-hair trimmer technology.
(OK, you got me. It’s not really a store. It’s a website: Retailtechinnovationhub.com.)
Anyway, the article talked about how artificial intelligence and augmented reality can “personalize the gaming experience of players.” The artificial intelligence stuff is a bit disturbing—how AI can analyze player behavior in real time and adjust the difficulty of the task and the reward offered, or even the storyline, to “hook” the player.
Applying this to a slot game, I suppose you make it easy the first time to break the piggy bank, explode the panda, or whatever, and then make it harder the second time so you keep playing? Thanks for telling me. Next time, I’ll cash out the first time the panda explodes.
(What, you never heard of the slot game Exploding Panda Progressive Triple 7s? With the “Blow Up Peter Panda Multiplier?”)
And how are you going to change the storyline? Is AI going to scan my brain while I’m playing the Whitney Houston game and see that I’m a Grateful Dead fan, and dress Whitney up like a flower-child Deadhead girl? Maybe put a Jerry Garcia T-shirt on her? (That would be pretty cool, actually.)
The article goes on to talk about augmented reality, which, it says, “enhances the real-world environment by overlaying digital elements,” allowing players to “experience themed games in their living rooms, with 3D graphics and interactive features that blend seamlessly with their surroundings.”
OK, so not in physical casinos. I’m guessing more than a few heart attacks could ensue from dragons unexpectedly flying out of machines, or, for that matter, pandas, bears, Wayne Newton, or whatever the game character is.
Actually, on second thought, maybe AR can work in the casino. I’m sure they wouldn’t have kung-fu fighters kicking elderly people or anything like that. They could have Wayne Newton standing next to you singing “Danke Schoen.” Or Gene Simmons from KISS in his clown makeup, rocking and rolling all night and partying every day on top of the slot machine. (Nah, that would be too scary. And the pyrotechnics could start a fire.)
The article goes on to talk about how blockchain, Web 3.0 and cryptocurrency are impacting how casino games are made. These would be in the bitcoin casinos that are popping up on the internet.
It’s all too modern for me. I can never see myself sitting on the couch betting bitcoins in a cyber-casino. In fact, though it may reveal me as some kind of gaming dinosaur, I actually like to use cash in casinos.
I like to fan out those samolians on the craps table, and wave goodbye to them as the dealer crams them down into the soft-count netherworld with that plunger-crammer-thingy.
I do believe that’s the technical term for that particular dealer equipment.
Yes, I like to use cash because that’s the era I come from. As in, long ago. I even remember inserting coins into slot machines and pulling a handle. I’ve witnessed the evolution of casino slots over the past 40 years, and as you’ll see in this issue’s “Global Games” section, the innovations keep coming, if I may be permitted a shameless plug for what I’ve spent the past several weeks writing.
(They chain me to my desk at this time of year. A guard disguised as my wife brings me my meals.)
One thing I’ve never seen is a “Micro One-Armed Bandit,” which I read about when I visited hackster.io. (Like you do.) It is a teeny slot machine with rows of colored LEDs, no pandas, that you plug into a USB port on your desk. There’s a tiny handle to set the lights spinning, and the colors change to signify a “win.”
According to hackster.io, it’s a “colorful code and hardware learning opportunity” that runs on “an Adafruit QT Py SAMD21 development board, which powers a 5×5 NeoPixel Grid BFF Add-On.”
And a framastam anacanapana with simulated grammo.
All I know is that you’ll never fit any samolians into that little thing.
By the way, the origin of “samolians” is “simoleon,” which first appeared in U.S. slang around 1896, referring to one dollar. According to historical opinion, there may be a connection between “simoleon” and the Napoleon, a 20-franc French coin issued by Napoleon Bonaparte in the early 1800s, or to the “simon,” British slang for sixpence in the 17th century.
Now you know.
