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Tweeting With Bears

"Hey, it's FranklySpeakn, good buddy! Got us a convoy. Come back!"

Tweeting With Bears

Last month, I was advised by my employer that I should have a Twitter account. I now do. My “handle” is FranklySpeakn.

See how I did that? It’s like the name of this column, see? Only, in a very clever manner, it’s spelled differently. Now I know what to put on my vanity license plate.

Do they really call it your “handle?” It’s officially your username, but according to the Twitter Glossary, a common subsitute has been “handle,” like 1970s truckers with CB radios.

“Hey, it’s FranklySpeakn, good buddy! Got us a convoy. Come back!”

And aren’t there supposed to be hashtags involved somewhere? How do the hashtags work? You know, they used to be called pound signs.

I used to think Twitter users put hashtagged phrases in just to emphasize a point, but I now know, after extensive research, that they identify trends. So, if something is “trending,” you can bunch all related “tweets” under one “trend,” and then others add more “tweets” to the “trend.”

See? I’m using Twitter lingo.

When these posts pop up on your “feed,” they are often entertaining in and of themselves because of the trend phrases:

“Crazy Girls statue on display at Planet Hollywood. #bronzebutts.”

“The Linq will soon offer rooms with bunk beds. #arewe12orwhat.”

“I’ll have it done before you can say Ticondaroga. #ifyoucansayTicondaroga.”

Some of you may be surprised I was never on Twitter before, but I’ve never been known as an early adopter of new technology. I only recently began using a toaster.

Never mind the 21st century; I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 20th century. But eventually, I stopped using a typewriter, stopped using a straight razor, got a cellular phone (when they took out all the pay phones), even got a smartphone, got on Facebook, and now on Twitter. So go ahead and tweet me. Make my day.

As of this writing, I have 28 followers, which doesn’t exactly make me Gandhi, but hey, I didn’t have any followers at all a month ago. And if everyone reading this column right now follows me, I’ll have maybe another half dozen, at least.

What’s up with all the following, anyway? I mean, I realize thousands want to know what Jay Z is thinking at any moment, but who cares if I took my suits to the cleaners and they put too much starch on my shirts?

No, I plan to use Twitter the best way I know how. I’ll make wisecracks on the casino news of the day. So watch for my next hilarious quip.

And don’t worry. I’ll leave enough casino news to lampoon in this space every month. Like, for instance, the item that says the Horseshoe Casino Cleveland will henceforth be known as the Jack Casino Cleveland. (Segue rating: 8.3.)

I said before that the casino didn’t look like a horseshoe anyway. It doesn’t look like Jack, either. And they’re not even just calling it Jack. They’re calling it JACK, all caps—like you’re shouting at Jack, probably because the casino doesn’t look like him.

From the Montana desk, it seems they caught the guy who held up Gabby’s Casino in Billings on January 2.

I love casino names in Montana. You know Gabby heard about this event personally. (And gabbed about it afterward, I’ll bet.)

On the night in question, 37-year-old Steven Richard Gill allegedly walked into Gabby’s with another man, both wearing ski masks. I know it’s cold in Montana, but that’s still never a good sign. A casino employee told them to take off their masks, at which point the other guy approached the bar, produced a gun and demanded money while Gill, according to the Billings Gazette, “stood guard at the door with a can of bear spray.”

You know, like you do.

I admit it. I had to look up “bear spray.” It turns out it’s not a bear in an aerosol can, and it doesn’t growl when you spray it. They’re talking about bear repellent, which temporarily blinds a pursuer, be it bear or man.

Now, I’ve never lived where there are a lot of bears walking around. I happened to be in Tahoe once when this bear was waltzing through a kitchen at Caesars, but that’s about as close as I’ve come to encountering a bear that wasn’t of the teddy variety. I guess it’s different in Montana. You can be walking down the street, turn a corner and the next thing you know? Bear.

Anyway, Gill’s accomplice ratted him out. No bear spray, hair spray or any other kind of spray will help him there.

FranklySpeakn signin’ off. 10-4, good buddy.

Frank Legato is editor of Global Gaming Business magazine. He has been writing on gaming topics since 1984, when he launched and served as editor of Casino Gaming magazine. Legato, a nationally recognized expert on slot machines, has served as editor and reporter for a variety of gaming publications, including Public Gaming, IGWB, Casino Journal, Casino Player, Strictly Slots and Atlantic City Insider. He has an B.A. in journalism and an M.A. in communications from Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, PA. He is the author of the books, How To Win Millions Playing Slot Machines... Or Lose Trying, and Atlantic City: In Living Color.  

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