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Feed Lots, Ice Lounges and Goofiness

Feed Lots, Ice Lounges and Goofiness

You know, we here at Global Gaming Business (motto: “All The News That Warrants A Press Conference Where Lunch Is Served”) span the globe month after month, in an undying quest to bring you, our devoted readers, the most relevant, vital and forward-looking topics to support your continued success.

(Second GGB motto: “No Sentence Too Long.”)

In this solemn search for relevant topics, we do, from time to time, run across some pretty goofy news items as well.

That’s where I come in.

I’ve got a couple of fer-instances this month. For instance, over in Topeka, Kansas, investors were waiting at press time for a decision from the Kansas Lottery on which applicants would win the right to operate a casino in Dodge City. That, in itself, is not goofy. (Well, to most people.) However, I just ran across a gaming website that includes a blog on the day-to-day negotiations concerning the Dodge City casino. At press time, one of the, er, pressing issues was whether or not the casino will stink.

“The Dodge City casino is currently examining wind patterns in the area and how the odors from the nearby feed lots might affect the appeal of the project,” the blogger said.

Apparently, there are lots of feed lots in Kansas, where cows and pigs gather at the old trough to shoot the breeze. And sometimes, the breeze shoots in a lot of different directions. Lottery officials are afraid the casino may end up with a distinctive aromatic identity.

I say, use it. I envision a marquee… The Swine-‘n-Bovine Casino Hotel, Spa and Feed Lot. Alternate flashes of neon pigs and cows on the colorful signage out front. First-month sweepstakes promotion: the “Test Your Sniffer Cash Giveaway.” Fragrances are channeled through the ventilation system while you are engaged in carded slot play or rated table play. Is it pig? Or is it cow? Guess right for HUGE JACKPOT WINNINGS!

Yeah, I know. I should have been in marketing.

Next news item:

A whole bunch of ATMs at casinos across the United States apparently worked quite efficiently in hundreds of transactions for a short period last month, accurately deducting the cash withdrawal amounts and accompanying fees from patrons’ bank accounts.

One thing, though-the machines forgot to dispense the cash.

To me, it makes perfect sense. Those players just saved a lot of time they would have spent losing that money to the casino. Heck, they could have just stayed home and deducted the money from their bank accounts themselves. Think of all the gasoline they would have saved.

Seriously, though, I must say that the fact there were no riots, torch-lit marches through casinos towns, or tarring and feathering of casino operators last month means that there just may be hope for this country yet. Providing we all vote for… Oh, noyadon’t. No politics in my column. It’s goofy enough already.

Here’s an item that was in our weekly e-newsletter: A New Zealand-based company is building a 2,000-square-foot “ice lounge” at Mandalay Bay. It will be called the “Minus 5 Lodge,” and the whole place will be built of ice. There will be ice tables, furniture made of ice, ice floor, ice ceiling. Parkas and boots will be issued at the door, and you can go in and enjoy what the article says will be a lounge “built in the style of a northern lodge or ski hut.”

Does anyone else besides me think this is the most ridiculous thing they ever heard of? Now, I don’t frequent many “northern lodges” or “ski huts,” but I’m pretty sure they probably have some kind of heating, or at least a fireplace, and that the furniture is not made of friggin’ ice. I’m probably just being “old-fashioned,” but I really don’t think I’m going to be a fan of putting on a parka and sitting down on a frozen block of ice for a couple of hours. What if you stick?

And, what happens in the case of a power failure? Does the lounge just disappear? Do they have to sculpt the whole thing again? Or does it just become a water-themed lounge?

They’re going to have to keep it damn cold in there to prevent the lounge from disappearing. I guess the entertainment will have to be a skating act, like Peggy Fleming. Better yet, Tonya Harding.

Maybe they should put an ice lounge at the Kansas Feed Lot Casino. If it’s frozen, that should take care of the smell.

Hey, I’m always thinking.

Frank Legato is editor of Global Gaming Business magazine. He has been writing on gaming topics since 1984, when he launched and served as editor of Casino Gaming magazine. Legato, a nationally recognized expert on slot machines, has served as editor and reporter for a variety of gaming publications, including Public Gaming, IGWB, Casino Journal, Casino Player, Strictly Slots and Atlantic City Insider. He has an B.A. in journalism and an M.A. in communications from Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, PA. He is the author of the books, How To Win Millions Playing Slot Machines... Or Lose Trying, and Atlantic City: In Living Color.  

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