I got a press release from Cintas Corporation, and unlike most dispatches from Cintas Corporation, which generally are about whatever it is that Cintas Corporation does, it was about the “America’s Best Restroom” competition, an event that, remarkably, is in its 10th year.

Had it not been for Cintas, we would have had no information on good restrooms for the past decade. We’d be lost.

By the way, I was kidding before when I indicated I didn’t know what Cintas is. It’s a Las Vegas lounge act, right? Brothers and sisters Frank, Joe “Bucko” and Mary “Mama” Cintas. No wait, that’s the Scintas. Cintas makes uniforms and stuff.

Anyway, the release listed the Top Ten Finalists for the 2011 America’s Best Restroom contest—did I mention they’ve been doing this for 10 years?—and they included Main Street Station in Downtown Las Vegas. Boyd Gaming officials have subsequently pointed the honor out to media, as well they should have.

While Main Street Station has made it to the finals, we won’t know which establishment wins the “America’s Best Restroom 2011” award until after September 19. The public can vote for any of the finalists through that date, and presumably, the top vote-getter will win the Golden Plunger, or whatever it is that they get.

Do you think a public vote is practical? To render objective opinions, wouldn’t one have to visit all 10 finalist restrooms? It would be a better idea to carefully choose a panel of noted restroom experts with Ph.D.s, and have them evaluate the finalists. I’m sure there are restroom experts, right? I mean, without their first names embroidered onto a jumpsuit. But I digress.

After digesting the news of the contest, I began to wonder about the possible features of America’s Best Restroom. Would it have a full staff of attendants, towels at the ready? Would there be a bidet? There surely would be a big, polished-oak shoe-shine station, maybe even with a gold spittoon. The “seats” would be cushioned, lots of room in the stalls, perhaps a newspaper for your reading pleasure.

Actually, the press release included a couple of lofty descriptions of finalist restroom locations:

“The restroom boasts hand-painted, Italian-style frescoes.”

“The restroom trailer... features granite counterspace, black marbleized walls, wood doors, and complimentary hors d’oeuvres.” (OK, I made up the last item.)

I was in Las Vegas, so I decided to see for myself what a Top Ten Finalist for America’s Best Restroom looked like. I went down to Main Street Station (a casino I happen to love) to inspect the restrooms. Well, at least the men’s room. To include the ladies’ room in my research would have required an assistant, which wasn’t in my budget.

I knew from the news reports that the main feature catapulting the Main Street Men’s Room into America’s Top Ten was the fact that its urinals are embedded in an actual chunk of the real Berlin Wall. I went into the men’s room right off the hotel lobby—no Berlin Wall. I crossed through the casino to the other men’s room, and there it was—a plaque commemorating the fall of the Berlin Wall, and pictures of people jumping the wall over the years, all on top of a big piece of the graffiti-covered wall itself. And the urinals.

I looked around to the rest of the men’s room, expecting some grand restroom design, but no. The whole room was maybe 13 feet long, with three wooden stalls and four urinals on the Berlin Wall. No attendants with towels. No shoe shine, no gold fixtures, certainly no bidet.

OK, maybe the opportunity to urinate on a famous symbol of Communist totalitarianism does score some style points. And yes, the wooden stalls were charming, even quaint. The room was clean. Good water pressure. But where was the “wow” factor? Where’s the spiffy restroom attendant handing me a towel, and pointing me to a collection of talcums and other desirable grooming products?

Maybe my restroom standards are just too high. I’m not going to agree to be a restroom judge, if I’m ever asked. (Well, it would depend on the pay.) So we’ll just rely on the public, that great pool of restroom users in America, to continue their vigilance in visiting the 10 restroom finalists before rendering their votes—thousands of independent researchers scouring the nation to find the finest restroom in the U.S.A.

Don’t forget the bran muffins.

The public is invited to vote for their top pick at www.bestrestroom.com through Monday, September 19, 2011. The site takes visitors on a photographic tour of each facility and then encourages them to choose their favorite. The winner will be announced this fall.

By Frank Legato

Frank Legato is editor of Casino Connection and also editor of Global Gaming Business magazine. He has been writing on gaming topics since 1984, when he launched and served as editor of Casino Gaming magazine. Legato, a nationally recognized expert on slot machines, has served as editor and reporter for a variety of gaming publications, including Public Gaming, IGWB, Casino Journal, Casino Player, Strictly Slots and Atlantic City Insider. He has an B.A. in journalism and an M.A. in communications from Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, PA. He is the author of the recently published book on gaming, How To Win Millions Playing Slot Machines... Or Lose Trying.